Sunday, November 30, 2008
2 hours more! sigh, have to use my shitty phone. can't believe im leaving civilisation again. i really really hate this life. HOW!? omg emo, duno why.
tired, even tho i did nothing.
man don't think i can wake up early and all anymore. I just wanna slp, and never wake up. omg, i think im living a life with the "nothing to look forward for" feeling again. ok this sucks.
ZOMG. i think i found my childhood crush! HAHAHAHA. WTH. doubt she remembers me tho, omg that's like eons ago, way back in kindergarten LOLS.
anw BOOKING IN TONIGHT! AHHH.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
If life's a symphony, i think mine's a scherzo. At this point, it reads morendo, leading to tacet. mesto, molto mesto.. how i wish it could just accelerando and, attacca! a new movement, new motive, vivace, interesting counterpoints, and hopefully, presto, to its finale, cos this piece sucks. Too bad im not the composer, think i'll just have to play my part well, and trust the baton..
saw a lotus evora today, lucky me.
if i could, i wanna press the restart button, what would i change? myself. than everything else would change, my grades, school, friends, career. for the better? if i know im gonna live like this now, definitely. i'll pia in secondary school, settle in hope church when i had the chance, can't believe i missed it twice, in sec 2, sigh. Make lotsa friends. I won't stop piano at 6, pick up the clarinet, flute, or oboe instead of sax when i joined band. So i would have a chance to play in an orchestra. join syo. Get into a better jc. achieve frsm when im still in jc, score in A's, get into medicine, pon NS, or maybe i'll just learn composing at yong siew toh.. wth, go slp la, dream dream dream.
mundane life continues tmr, well the past few weeks were bad enough.
hmm, wad movie shall i watch..
sigh. another day's gone. thing's gonna resume on sunday night. i hate it when they make us clear our offs like this, no plans no nothing, just, stone. blessing or not, i don't know, i sure know it's lonely..
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
i don't know wads the hype with e nick.
prelude in G minor! ok i know im lagging, a piece i should had like learnt 2 years ago, when marc introduced it to me haha. Anw, last weekend, i figured i can't really call myself a pianist or even a musician, when i don't have a repertoire in my head on stand by. geez.
Anw it got me thinking, what the hell i wanna do in life? like seriously, life is too short to do everything you like, yet when you don't, it seems too long to live, with regrets, some things just can't wait, like youth, i need to decide, quick..
actually, i can't believe that im gonna enter CBC in ntu, actually, its already wrong right from the start in cjc, no, in sji, that simple mistake, of not taking up music as an elective, COS i thought they wouldn't accept me cos im self-taught and have no grades, argh, well but i did took art and aced it, than i chose CJC, and that's where it went wrong, my yr the school can't start a bloody art class due to lack of art students! i wasted 2 years mugging my guts out (don't know for what) in a screwed up class, or rather i screwed myself in it, enduring those who speak behind me, skipping all the outings(i think), living a life myself in my own world, for two years, and tried to patch it up with music, i joined band, got scolded all the time, i played the piano whenever i can, made many superficial friends tru it and ppl calling me weird, so what did i achieve after all that i'd done to myself? 3A's a B and a C, than wad? do i need those grades? bloody hell no, ADM min requirement is an olevel pass in maths, nafa music degree requires a dip in music from nafa, yong siew toh just wants a mozart.. soooo, in order not to waste my results and my 2 years away, i decided to follow what all other average singaporeans would do, enter the best course you could which have a prospect in the future with the results. EXCUSES. wad a fool. i won't make it tru the 4 years, if im gonna study like how i did, for the sake of it..
after saying so much crap, i just found out my off is ending soon, and im gonna return to camp next mon, come to think about it, what had i done during this long break ever since i returned from australia? NOTHING, well actually not, watching lotsa dramas and movies, feeding myself, irritate my neighbors, geez my new year resolution's gonna be long.
omg i should go slp
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
someone pls jio me out, i think i need to stop playing piano for awhile, argh, my hand is starting to hurt haha, hopefully i wont get any injuries.
anw here i am again eating in front of the com, searching for nice movies..
rach 3 is damn bloody difficult.. DUH. after 1 yr im still at the 9th page?! well with many breaks of course. changed my fingerings, like the proper ones haha. man, ambitious it my seem, but i dream of performing it on stage, wahahaha, notice, DREAM. shall plan to finish like the first movement by this year! omg and thomas yu is like super inspiring, he's like a periodontist who won like some international amateur competition in paris playing RACH 3!!! *dreams* search for him on youtube! love his cadenza altho i prefer the normal one. anw i practiced that damn piece till my right forearm hurts, like muscle strain or something lol.
anw heard that dimitri sgouros learnt it in 6 days, when he was 13. that bastard.
i think my neighbours must be like cursing me or something, poor them..
FAT. the amt of chocolate i take in daily is phenomenal. chocolate coated marshmellows, chocolate cookies, belgian chocolates.. omg.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
been doing much thinking, whether i should major music or arts, rather than science and all, The only thing stopping me is carrer prospects! and my own ability too. well but i'd chosen cbc already anw, perhaps i'll just get a diploma or higher in music and just try to be a zai self-taught artist heh.
wadever.
sian
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
i want my piano, NOW!!!! haha. can't stand it anymore, that bloody concerto has been ringing in my ears (literally) for along time now, even chose the ossias i wanna play HAHA, so ambitious. anyway, after rach 3's first movement, gonna skip to the third, cos the second should be easier to handle, not implying that its easy.
one more thing to add into my shopping list, a BIBLE! min like got burnt in a fire that i spoke abt, anw, i have a pic of it, after the fire, haha there's like only less than one page, looked quite cool haha. ooh, took a photo of my handphone too, haha.
anw, confirm returning on the 12th and arriving on the 13th early in the morning. 8 MORE DAYS! but i hope they won't force us to use up our offs right away.. wanna save em for december.
ok im damn bored now, oh and i love Nikolai Lugansky's interpretation of rach 3, well maybe cos i only got he's recording in my ipod. but i heard others too k, pianists like andre watts(the only pianist i knew who played the finale ossia, wanna try it too), martha agerich(good one), kissin(don't quite like, but he's the only one who played an ossia in the third movement which is like bloody difficult and only 3 bars, wanna try too! haha), Lang Lang(well he likes to rush, ALOT, weird thing he's not a russian but chinese haha, k cold joke, not by me tho, but he did play the ossia cadenza which i rather hard), hmm who else, oh yea the famous Horowitz! but i cant find he's earlier recordings, the later ones are not very good, maybe cos he's old already haha, and rachmaninoff himself(not the best tho). cecile licad! almost forgot, only hear her live, but the recording sucks(note i said recording not her playing) looking forward to hearing her album, cos her chopin etudes are ownage haha.
k wth. im damn bored. im like listening to rach 3 the second time now. wah scully i go back can play by ear already, wad an obvious joke.
watched 'cast away' on one of the afternoons, well i felt it was a movie portraying alot of emotions, especially lonliness, its a scarey thing, it is hell itself.. well its theworse thing that could happen is like being stranded alone in a small island for 4 years, away from your love one, and after that you try to escape and got back to the world where people think you're dead already, and your wife like remarry and all. omg its like utter sadness. it's literally a new life. k whatever. im so darn bored now.
no more day shift! night shift all the way! sian.
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